


Us

by notyourusualweeb



Series: Taking Chances [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Drama, Hurt Katsuki Yuuri, M/M, Romance, Victor cheats, Victor has to redeem himself, insecure feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-08-09
Packaged: 2018-11-08 00:13:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11070012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notyourusualweeb/pseuds/notyourusualweeb
Summary: It's not always rainbows and butterflies. Victor Nikiforov has been slammed with insecure thoughts that made his relationship with Katsuki Yuuri crumble. A fight, a mistake, and everything is gone. Victor finds himself facing the consequences of his action. Will he be able to get everything back?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sup, fam. So, I decided to write a fic for our favorite couple in this fandom. The characters might be a bit OOC, but I do hope you enjoy reading this. I promise this will have a happy ending!

When Yuuri Katsuki landed in the last spot in the Grand Prix Finals, Victor Nikiforov was too focused on his own accomplishment to even notice the Japanese skater. When he did notice Yuuri during the banquet, he was smitten. With how the younger skater grinded against him - half-naked and with a ridiculous tie around his head - something in him blossomed. And when he saw Yuuri skating his routine, Victor knew he had to have this skater. 

With Yuuri winning silver under his tutelage, and his plans of going back to his skating career, there’s no doubt that Victor Nikiforov and Yuuri Katsuki will be the unbeatable duo in the skating world. 

Now, happily living together and with both of their figure skating career on the rise, Victor.Nikiforov couldn’t ask for more. 

"Victor," Yuri calls out beside him, hands waving in front of his face, "What’s wrong? You’re spacing out." 

They are currently at the Kiss and Cry. Yuuri who just finished his program looks at him with worried eyes, "Was...was my skating bad? I knew it was a big risk to suddenly change the program midway..." 

Victor puts a reassuring hand on his shoulder and pulls him close, "No, love. You were great. The best performance I’ve seen you do." 

Yuuri’s face lights up with Victor’s encouragement and returns his hug, "I’m so happy." 

Their moment is cut short when the announcer’s voice echoes in the venue, "The score for Yuuri Katsuki’s short program is...110.81! He tops his mentor Victor Nikiforov’s score by two points!" The announcer’s voice booms, as cheers from the crowd echoes all over, "Yuuri Katsuki is 1st place in the NHK Trophy!" 

Yuuri is too stunned to respond, his eyes wide and mouth gaping. Victor has to nudge him with his outstretched hand poised to give him a handshake. Instead of taking Victor’s hand, Yuuri throws himself on Victor and engulfs him in a hug, sobbing and muttering thank you’s and I love you’s. Victor can feel his neck getting wet from Yuuri’s tears, but he doesn’t mind and returns his lover’s embrace. 

*** 

As soon as they left the rink after taking their medals on the podium, reporters gather around the couple to take their photos and statements. 

"Mr. Katsuki, how does it feel that you’re now able to surpass your coach in figure skating?" one reporter asks. 

Victor see a slight frown on Yuuri’s face, "I don’t really know. I owe everything to Victor. I am thankful for everything that he taught me. If not for him, I would have been retired by now." Yuuri shyly takes Victor’s hand in his, "So, this victory is not for me, but for Victor." 

Victor squeezes Yuuri’s hand in return, while the Japanese skater continues to answer questions thrown at him. 

One reporter calls out to Victor, "Mr. Nikiforov, now that Mr. Katsuki has qualified for the Grand Prix finals, are you confident that you can qualify as well in the upcoming Cup of China?" 

Yuuri throws him a worried glance, but Victor, as smooth as ever, answers, "Of course. As long as I express my love for figure skating, and make sure to execute my program flawlessly, I don’t think there’ll be any problem." 

Yakov taps him on the shoulder and murmurs about needing to go back to the hotel, so Victor and Yuuri politely excuse themselves from the group. 

*** 

After changing pleasantries with the other skaters, and a few pictures here and there, Victor and Yuuri retire to their hotel room. Now that the NHK Trophy is out of the way, and Yuuri securing his spot in the Grand Prix Finals, the duo were due back to St. Petersburg the day after next to train again. Victor still has the Cup of China to win. 

As Yuuri enters the shower, Victor orders them a meal from the hotel’s restaurant and settles on the bed, tired from all the events that transpired during the day. 

Cup of China is still a few weeks away, but Victor can already feel the pressure of needing to place. The last thing he wants is to bomb his performance. 

It’s a ridiculous thought - Victor Nikiforov delivering a subpar performance. But, with the rise of young skaters like Otabek Altin, Phichit Chulanont, and Leo de Iglesias, the thought of failing his programs has been in the back of his mind since the start of the season. He’s not getting any younger, after all. 

"What are you thinking about?" He was so deep in his thoughts that he didn’t hear Yuuri come out of the bathroom who’s already changed into his sweats. 

"Nothing, love," he smiles at his lover and pats the space next to him, which Yuuri gladly follows. 

Cuddling next to Victor, Yuuri speaks again, "If you’re thinking about your performance and the upcoming competition, I’m sure you’ll win it." 

Victor scoffs, "We’ll see." 

Yuuri looks up at him. There it is again, that worried look. These days, he’s come to see Yuuri’s worrying antics as an annoyance. He loves Yuuri, and knows the younger man loves him to the moon and back, but he didn’t need the pity and the constant worrying. He’s Victor Nikiforov, five-time Grand Prix champion, skating legend, and his idol. 

"Victor, if you want to talk--" 

"Maybe I don’t want to talk about it," he didn’t mean to snap at Yuuri, but he’s tired and hungry and all the comments the reporters were throwing at him have been spinning in his mind. 

"Oh. Sorry," Yuuri shrinks back and lowers his head. 

Victor sighs. Now he feels guilty. He faces Yuuri and puts his hand under the other man’s chin to tilt his face, "I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be so snappy about it. I’m just...tired. Forgive me, love?" 

Yuuri gives him a small smile and nods at him. He leans down to peck him softly when their moment was suddenly interrupted with the doorbell ringing. 

"That’s room service. I’ll get it," says Victor, leaving Yuuri on the bed to retrieve their dinner. 

*** 

"Again, Vitya," Yakov’s stern voice booms across the rink. "Focus. Quad flip is your signature move. Why are you not landing it?" 

Victor’s hands are on his knees, trying to catch his breath. He’s missed landing his jump for the third time that day, and it’s barely even an hour when practice started. 

They’re back at St. Petersburg and in the rink, getting ready for the next competition. Being the strict coach that he is, Yakov made them get on the ice just after a day of arriving at his home rink. 

"What are you doing, old man?" Yuri Plisetsky skates alongside Victor after Yakov made him take a break because he’s been messing up all over the rink. 

Victor is proud of Yuri’s accomplishment during his senior debut. He’s proud that the Russian prodigy gave justice to his choreographed program. But, there’s this unsettling feeling creeping inside Victor with Yuri’s constant winnings in competitions. 

"Oi. Are you listening?"

Victor smiles at the younger skater as he puts on his skate guards at the side of the rink, "Have you gone soft, Yurio?" 

The young Russian glares at him, prompting Victor to answer him teasingly, "Nothing to be worried about, you little kitten." 

"Don’t give me that shit. I know something’s up," Yurio follows Victor. "Are you and that pig fighting?" 

Victor’s smile drops and he raises an eyebrow, "What made you say that?" 

Yurio shrugs, "I don’t know. I can feel the tension when we got back from Japan. And he looks down today." 

"We’re not fighting," Victor answers. 

"Well, why are you here and not over there being the disgusting couple that you are and spouting ‘Oh my Yuuri is so great’", Yuri asks, doing a poor imitation of Victor’s ridiculous grin. 

"Yuuri can manage. I don’t have to be there beside him all the time," Victor answers. Yuri looks at him with his eyes squinted and brows scrunched together. 

"What the fucking ever," he shakes his head and moves to go back to the rink. 

*** 

Arriving home, Victor and Yuuri are greeted by an ecstatic Makkachin. Yuuri goes into the bedroom to change into comfortable clothes while Victor sits in the living room couch with Makkachin cuddling next to him. 

"What do you want to eat, Victor?" Yuuri calls to him from the bedroom. "I can cook us some katsudon. I think Maya was able to buy us some ingredients when she went here to clean last week." 

"Whatever is fine, love," he answers, his eyes on his phone and scrolling through his Twitter feed. 

He comes across a particular post that an acquaintance retweeted. 

_‘Is Victor Nikiforov Losing His Figure Skating Touch?’_

He clicks on the link. It’s an infamous Russian gossip website. Victor knows he shouldn’t even believe what’s written there. Magazines and gossip sites have been talking about him since he started skating and placing. This kind of thing isn’t new, but seeing the entire post with pictures of him failing to land his jumps from today’s practice made him read the article anyway. 

_‘Victor Nikiforov, who made his comeback after being a coach of Japanese skater Yuuri Katsuki, is seen failing his signature jump multiple times today. Is this the start of his career’s end with the rise of Yuri Plisetsky and the surprising comeback of Yuuri Katsuki?’_

Victor closes the article, but he can feel something in him snap. He’s being petty, he knows. But, being belittled for something he’s been doing all his life has hurt his pride. It doesn’t help that a lot of comments read how they were disappointed with his last performance. 

"Victor?" Yuuri was standing in front of him. He must have been in deep thought because he didn’t notice the younger man approach. He’s been doing that a lot lately, though. 

"What were you saying?" he asks, looking up to Yuuri’s face. 

"Uhm, I asked you if you want to eat now." Yuuri looks at Victor’s hand that was gripping his phone tightly. "Is there something wrong?" 

Victor sighs and puts his phone down on the side table. "Nothing." He stands up and heads to the bedroom when Yuuri grabs his harm. 

"Please talk to me, Victor," says Yuuri, his eyes full of emotions. Sadness? Hurt? Pity? Victor doesn’t need those. 

He shrugs his arm out of Yuuri’s grasp, "Listen, Yuuri. I --" 

"I read the article," Yuuri says, his eyes downcast and lips trembling. "Don’t believe what they say. You’re still the best--" 

"Yuuri--"

"--skater there is in the world, and I know you’ll--"

"I--"

"--win in the next competition, so whatever--"

"ENOUGH!" 

Victor shouts, irritated. Yuuri immediately drops the hand that was holding onto the sleeves of Victor’s shirt. 

"You wouldn’t know, Yuuri," he says, walking away and taking his coat from the rack beside the door. "I’m going out for a walk. Don’t wait up." 

*** 

Victor downs his third drink for the night - he settled for a White Russian cocktail. After walking aimlessly around the neighborhood and sitting in the park until the cold got to him, he found himself stumbling into one of the local bars in the area and ordering from the bartender. He hasn’t eaten yet and knows he’s going to regret this in the morning, but he doesn’t care. Alcohol is and will always be his cure. 

He tips the glass back and finishes his drink, signaling to the bartender for another round, when a voice speaks from his right, "Wow. You’re a fast drinker." 

Victor turns to the sound of the voice and finds a man smiling back at him. His dark, brown hair fell in short, curly waves, framing his face. The man has a strong jaw with a straight nose, and hazel eyes that remind him of Yuuri’s. The man offers his glass to clink against Victor’s for a small cheers before downing his own drink. 

"So, do you always pace yourself like this when drinking?" The man asks. 

Victor smiles with a mischievous glint in his eyes, "I like it fast." 

"Ah, I see," the man chuckles, and Victor thinks it’s one of the sexiest things he’s ever heard. "Im Alex, by the way. Alexei Nikolaev." He extends his hand. 

Victor shakes his hand,"Victor Nikiforov." 

"So, is it alright if I join you?" Alex asks. "Ah, that is, if you don’t mind the company. I mean, I can tell that you’re obviously in some kind of slump judging by the amount of alcohol you’ve consumed. But," he raises his glass to Victor, “misery loves company." 

Victor smiles a bit and clinks his glass against Alexei’s, "Sure, Alex. Let’s drink to that." 

*** 

Yuuri can’t sleep. His eyes hurt. His throat hurt. Everything hurts. It’s not the first time that Victor raises his voice at him - he remembers the time when he told Victor that he’s retiring. But, this time, the way he raised his voice at Yuuri, it felt as if there was poison in it. As if Victor hates him. 

Tears blur Yuuri’s eyes once again, and he immediately wipes them away. He glances at the clock and sees that it’s already past midnight. Victor’s been gone for hours and hasn’t come home. He tried calling earlier, but he wasn’t picking up. Worry and regret start to gnaw at his insides. 

_What do I do?_

They have practice tomorrow morning, and he has already called Yurio to tell him that Victor might not be there in the rink tomorrow because he’s feeling unwell, but he knows that Yurio knows he’s lying about it. 

He couldn’t tell the younger boy about the fight he and Victor had, but Yurio, knowing the dynamics of the couple, simply said, "Don’t worry about it, katsudon. You should rest up." 

But, he can’t rest. Not until Victor is home and in bed, and back to being his usual, happy self. So Yuuri simply lays in bed, with silent tears spilling from the corner of his eyes, until sleep finally consumes him. 

*** 

Victor’s back hits the wall, with Alex pinning his weight against Victor and grinding against his hips. Their mouths fused in a kiss, their tongues seeking out each other’s to tangle and play. 

Alex grabs and massages his growing hardness, making Victor moan into the kiss and his hands clutching against the other man’s soft hair. 

Victor breaks from the kiss and stares into Alex’s hazel eyes. Alex kisses him again and mumbles against his lips, "You’re so fucking beautiful, Victor." 

They make their way into Alex’s apartment, mouths still fused, while hands started to pull at each other’s clothes. 

They both fell into the living room couch, Alex unbuttoning Victor’s shirt and kissing the exposed skin. He unbuckles Victor’s belt and unzips his pants, pulling it down along with the boxers to let his cock spring free. 

Alex grabs his shaft and starts pumping while kissing and licking the head, making Victor’s eyes roll into the back of his head. He arches and pushes his hips forward, so Alex takes his entire length into his mouth. 

He moans as Alex sucks him, and Victor puts his hand over his mouth to stifle the sounds he’s making. Alex releases him with a pop and straightens up to remove his shirt. 

Victor sits up and helps him unbuckle Alex’s belt and jeans, pushing the other man, so he’s lying on his back. 

Victor pushes a finger into Alex’s ass, testing the tightness before pushing it forward until it’s fully sheathed. His other hand plays with Alex’s shaft, his fingers massaging the head until there’s pre-cum leaking from it. 

When he feels Alex loosen enough for him, he positions his cock in his entrance and slowly pushes forward. Alex’s hands claw at Victor’s back, leaving long marks across the pale skin. 

Victor moves his hips like a piston, his thrust short and fast but leaving the man underneath him writhing with pleasure. 

It doesn’t take long for them both to reach their peak, and when Victor releases, it’s as if everything - the comments about his skating, his career, his fight with Yuuri - has slipped off his mind.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to turn this into a series because I kind of changed the plot....so I hope you'll stick around and read this.

Victor wakes up with a pounding headache, his mouth dry. The room is too bright. _Did Maya change the curtains?_ He moves to get out of bed, and that’s when he notices — this isn’t his and Yuuri’s room.

Where is this place? He hears the shower being turned off from the ensuite bathroom, which makes Victor freeze.

One night stands are not new to him, but it’s been a long time since he had one. And usually, he’s always the one to leave early to avoid the morning-after confrontations.

There’s a slight shuffling of feet from the bath, and the door opens to reveal a man with dark curls and a body that could rival his. If this was any other time from before, Victor will be proud of snatching up someone as hot as this man. But, he’s with Yuuri, and this is a mistake.

“Oh! You’re awake!” the man says cheerily, water dripping from his wet hair and leaving a trace on his neck. Victor simply nods as the man continues towards his wardrobe, and that’s when he only notices his state of undress under the sheets.

“What time is it?” his voice is a soft whisper and turns to the man who has just thrown on a pair of dark jeans, racking his brain for a name.

“Hmm. Just a little after 9, I think,” the man grabs a shirt from the drawer, “I’m making breakfast. Do you want to eat here, or…” he faces Victor.

He looks at the man with brows scrunched. He hasn’t texted or called Yuuri since he walked out last night, and Yakov’s probably looking for him right now because there’s practice. A frown forms on his face, remembering how he’s been flubbing his jumps during practice. He’s not ready to make an embarrassment of himself again.

“Sure, I’ll stay…” he turns to the man with a slight smile.

The man beams back at him, “Awesome! I’ll get started on it then!” He claps his hands and walks out of the room, “Oh! Feel free to use the bathroom if you want.”

Victor takes his time in the shower, with his thoughts on last night’s argument with Yuuri and, more importantly, the events that transpired after.

He finally remembers the name of the man, Alex, and memories of what happened after their eight drink in the bar soon started coming back to him in pieces.

When he steps into the room, he sees Alex placing a plate of eggs and bacon on the small table in the kitchenette. Victor looks around and assumes that Alex is living alone, seeing as how simple the set-up is in the place.

The apartment is fairly big for someone who’s living alone, but there’s a comfortable, not too restricting feel to it.

Alex smiles at him when he approaches the table and takes a seat, while Alex pours him coffee. They eat in silence for a while, but Victor doesn’t mind the quiet. It’s not any different from how he spends his breakfast with Yuuri — sometimes, it’s him making most of the early morning noise.

“So, Victor, “ Alex starts after sipping from his cup, “I didn’t know you were an athlete. I saw a news clip about you on the TV.”

Victor’s hand pauses, and he sets his utensils down, “Yeah. I am. I just came back into figure skating. It’s been two years since I came back competing.” He cracks a small smile, “It’s hard adjusting…”

“Ahh. I see,” Alex says, and Victor is thankful that Alex doesn’t pry anymore. The last thing he wants to talk about over breakfast and with a hangover is his failure of a comeback in the figure skating scene.

After eating and clearing away their plates, Victor excuses himself to check on his phone and sees a dozen of missed calls and text messages — from Yuuri, Yurio, and Yakov. He groans and types a ‘I’m heading home’ reply to Yuuri, a quick ‘Not practicing today’ to Yakov, and a simple question mark reply to Yurio.

He finds Alex sitting in the living room and watching TV when he bids him goodbye. Alex stands and accompanies him to the door, “Do you need a lift to your place?” he asks, to which Victor replies with a shake of his head.

If it’s going to be a one night stand, he’s going to leave it at that.

***

Yuuri was lying on the couch, his hand on Makkachin’s soft fur, as the poodle sleeps beside him on the floor. He looks at the clock; Victor didn’t come home last night.

That was the first time he walked out on Yuuri. Contrary to what people think, their relationship is far from perfect. They have disagreements from time to time, with Yuuri’s meek attitude and Victor always wanting things to go his way.

But, last night was a different level of disagreement — no, it was an all-out argument, and Yuuri has no idea why it even happened in the first place.

Yuri Plisetsky called him the following morning to check up on him and ask ‘if that fucking asshole’ has contacted him because he’s not at practice, which Yuuri answers with a dejected ‘I don’t know’.

When Victor finally replies, Yuuri’s eyes fill with tears because he just wants to hug him, kiss him, and apologize for being too intrusive.

So, here is, waiting for his lover to arrive and not quite knowing how to face him.

The sound of the door opening rouses him from his thoughts, and he finally sees the person he’s been longing for.

Yuuri bolts upright and rushes into Victor, throwing his hands around the other man’s body in a tight embrace while muttering “I’m sorry” again and again.

He feels Victor’s hands settle on his hips, “It’s alright, love. I’m sorry for last night.”

Yuuri’s hold on Victor tightens. “I’m sorry for being a worrywart. I think I only made the situation more difficult for you.”

Victor chuckles and starts stroking Yuuri’s hair. “No, love. You did nothing of the sort.” He tilts Yuuri’s face and presses a kiss against his lips. “If anything, it was me who was making things worse. I don’t want you to feel that it’s your fault."

Victor kisses him again, making Yuuri melt on the spot. His tongue boldly pushes forward to enter Victor’s mouth and to intertwine with his tongue, which makes the kiss more heated.

His hands cling onto Victor’s hair to bring him closer, his lips sucking and chewing while their tongues battle for dominance.

They manage to end up in the bedroom, and the next moment, all their clothes are off. He feels the need in their kisses and touches, the desperation to be one with each other.

Victor pushes him back on the bed, peppering his neck with kisses as he moves down to his chest. He feels Victor’s hand grab him and he hardens with the soothing massages.

“You’re very ready, are you, love?” Victor coos, his hand lowering to play with his entrance.

Yuuri nods and holds in a whimper, as Victor enters a finger into him. “Victor, please! I need you!”

Yuuri moans when Victor adds another digit inside him. His hands grab at the sheets and his back arches when Victor’s fingers stretch him and makes his insides flutter. “I know.”

He feels Victor’s finger retreat, and without warning, he thrusts his own cock into Yuuri, making him scream.

His head spins as Victor moves in and out of him, his entire length sheathed in him and hitting his prostate.

Victor takes his legs and opens them wider, giving him more room to move his hips and thrust faster, harder.

He takes everything there is that Victor gives, and Yuuri breaks with every movement of his hips. Victor leans forward and catches his lips.

Delicious tingles run through his body, his hands digging on Victor’s back while they move together.

He pulls away from Victor and mutters, “I love you”. Again and again and again, and Victor drinks his declarations of love.

With a few grunts and thrusts, he comes undone, while Victor fills him with his own release, face buried into Yuuri’s neck. Yuuri wraps his arm around Victor and keeps him close.

Once their hearts have slowed down, they lay spooned against one another, with Victor’s arms around Yuuri’s middle. Victor’s hands trace small circles against his skin, which lulls him a bit to sleep.

“Victor?” he yawns. “Where did you stay last night?”

Yuuri feels Victor stiffen, the movement of his hand stops, but doesn’t find anything odd with the other man’s reaction. "Nowhere, love. I just drank in one of the local bars," answers Victor.

Yuuri nods and doesn’t pry anymore, his eyes fluttering close and sleeping away the rest of the day.

***

Victor gets an earful from Yakov due to his absence in training. For the following days, they focus more on refining his program, changing some of the jumps and ironing out his step sequences. He doesn’t miss his quad flips, but there are moments when he underrotates the jump or lands poorly.

His night with Alex has been pushed at the back of mind, because his focus has turned to his skating. But, he hasn’t mentioned what transpired to Yuuri. That could wait. He decides to come clean after the Grand Prix Finals. Besides, what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.

So, Victor practices and skates. He’s avoided social media because of his fear of finding more articles about his failures to deliver a flawless program. Yuri says it’s ‘fucking ridiculous’ and that what he finds from the press shouldn't matter, but Yurio will not understand him because he’s not the ‘Figure Skating Legend’ or ‘Russia's hero’. Only Victor can know what it feels like.

Yuuri helps him stretch right after practice, "Victor, Yurio and the others are going out for dinner. Let’s go with them?"

Victor reaches towards his toes, feeling his muscles stretch, "Sure. Where do they plan to eat?"

"I’m not sure. But Yurio says he wants some Borscht," he chuckles softly. "You know how Yurio is."

Victor hums in agreement and finishes stretching. Yuuri helps him up to his feet, "I’ll just go change and we can be on our way!"

After changing, Victor and Yuuri follow the rest of their party to a restaurant near the rink for some early dinner.

It’s a quiet place with great food and not many people. The staff knows the Russian National Team, being regular customers in the place, and they were more than happy to accommodate them every time they eat at the restaurant.

When they arrive, the restaurant has only a few customers, which Victor thinks is a good thing because their skating team can be quite rowdy. It’s fun being with the people whom he can show his true self — not like the perfect being the press paints him to be.

They order their food and talk among themselves, their topic revolving on the upcoming competitions and possibly winning this year’s Grand Prix series with Yuri and Victor on their team.

There it is again. The unfamiliar knot building in Victor’s chest. He waves everyone’s concerned look and words of encouragement.

He smiles widely, "Thank you as always for your support, everyone!"

"Tch. You’re going to breeze through this competition as always, old man," Yurio says from across the table. “I don’t understand why you’re so worried about not placing in the finals." 

Victor clenches his jaw, but tries to keep his smile on his face. "I’m happy that you think that way, Yurio."

"You’re letting the press get to you. I can see it at the way you skate, Victor," Yurio looks him in the eye. "You need to get your head in the game."

"Yurio —, " Yuuri tries to intervene and stop the younger skater, but Victor speaks.

"Why? Don’t think I know what everyone here is saying," his eyes scan the room.

"You’ve seen me skate these past few weeks, and I know a lot of you think I’m a lost cause. That there’s nothing next for Victor Nikiforov."

The group goes quiet. Yuuri places a hand over his, but Victor shrugs it off.

Yurio notices this and speaks, "Do you even listen to what you’re saying? Where is all this coming from?"

Yurio stands up from his seat, "You say that you’re fine, but you’re fucking not. This isn’t the Victor we’ve known."

Victor stands up and takes his coat, "Well, I’m sorry that I turned out to be a disappointment. Excuse me."

Victor rushes out of the restaurabt with Yuuri hot on his heels, "Victor! Wait!"

He feels Yuuri’s grip on his arm, making him stop. "Please, come back. I’m sure Yurio didn’t mean anything like that," Yuuri says, his eyes pleading at him.

"What’s wrong? Please talk to me."

Victor sighs and shakes his head. "Please, love. Leave me be for now. I need to think."

Yuuri lets go of his arm, a dejected look in his face and lips trembling. "Okay. I"ll...I’ll wait for you at home."

Victor turns and walks away.

***

He doesn’t know how he ended up in this place. He was walking aimlessly for hours,with no clear destination in mind.

He’s pissed off at everyone. Yurio was spouting nonsense, as if he could ever know. Why should he listen to a kid anyway? Victor has seen it all, and Yurio’s what? Still crawling his way to the top. He couldn’t, wouldn’t understand.

He knocks lightly, and Victor doesn’t know what came over him to do so. The door opens and he’s met by an equally surprised Alex.

"Oh! Hi, Victor," he says warmly. "Is there something wrong?"

Victor doesn’t say anything but grabs the front of Alex’s shirt and kisses him hard.

"Just shut up and fuck me."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't expect that I'll be able to post this one soon. So, here you go~ 
> 
> Also, I apologize for breaking your hearts.

After Victor and Yuri’s argument over dinner, Yuuri notices how Victor has become distant during the past few days. The two Russians also stopped talking to each other, and this only made Yuuri worry even more. 

Yuuri approached Yurio and asked him if it’s alright to let everything go that way, with the competitions inching closer, but the younger skater simply shrugged him off, "That old man’s as stubborn as fuck. You don’t have to worry about us, Katsudon. Worry about your program." 

But, Yuuri does worry. He doesn’t want Victor to take on all the burden by himself, but his boyfriend hasn’t told him anything about his problem. If anything, Victor has become colder, and he’s been coming home later. Yuuri just wants Victor to talk to him. 

Cup of China is just a few days away, and Yuuri’s concerned about Victor’s condition. But, there’s just no getting through him, and this immensely hurts Yuuri. 

His phone rings, startling him from his thoughts. Seeing the caller lifts Yuuri’s spirits up, "Phichit!" 

His long-time friend’s face appears on the screen, all smiles and positivity, the complete opposite of Yuuri’s current mood for the past days. "Sawasdee Krab, Yuuri! What are you up to?" 

Yuuri tries to keep his smile genuine, "Nothing actually. I’m just here in my room." 

"What? Victor’s not with you?" his friend asks, eyes searching the room as if looking into Yuuri’s soul. 

"Ah, no. He said he has to be somewhere," Yuuri answers. Phichit could tell how down his friend is judging by the forced smile he’s trying to project. 

"Well...if you need company, do you want to grab dinner?" Phichit offers, which earned a surprised look from Yuuri. "Surprise! I’ve actually just arrived here in St. Petersburg for a short visit before going to China!" 

Phichit was also competing in Cup of China. Based from what he told Yuuri, he only needs to place third or higher to qualify for the finals. 

"What? But why here? You could have just taken a direct flight," asks Yuuri. 

Phichit pouts at the screen "Can’t I visit my best friend? We hardly talk because of training! Ciao Ciao has turned into this demon coach who’s killing me with his new training routine!" he whines and makes a face. 

Yuuri laughs, "Okay, okay. I’ll get ready. I’ll send you the address of where we can meet."  
Perhaps, being with his best friend is a good distraction for the time being. 

***

Victor pulls out with a groan, beads of sweat dotting his forehead. He collapses on top of Alex, his face nestled on Alex’s neck while he catches his breath. 

"Wow, Victor. You really went all out today," Alex mumbles, his fingers playing with Victor’s hair. "You’re insatiable." 

Victor chuckles, "I try." 

He rolls to his side as he lets his breath slow. Practice was harder today, with Cup of China just right around the corner. He left the rink in a hurry, eager to get away from the pressuring stares of his rink mates. He hasn’t talked to Yurio for days, and while he thinks it’s childish of him to let this go on, he doesn’t want to make amends. 

He said goodbye to Yuuri immediately after stretching and changing, telling him not to wait up. He knows how Yuuri’s been trying to reach out to him, but he doesn’t want to talk to Yuuri about what’s been bothering him. He has his own load to carry, and Victor knows how easily Yuuri gets distracted in his skating when he’s thinking about other things. 

So he turns to Alex. 

For Victor, Alex is like a breath of fresh air. He’s completely clueless when it comes to the world of figure skating. The man doesn’t even know Victor despite him being a big name in the sport. Alex doesn’t pry about his problems, and Victor appreciates the gesture to respect his privacy. 

He does, however, ask about Victor’s love life upon noticing the golden band around his ring finger. 

One night during one of their usual romps, he asks, "So, am I sharing the ‘great' Victor Nikiforov?" To which Victor responds with a playful slap to his ass. 

"Does it bother you if I’m attached?" Victor asks, resuming his thrusts. 

Alex moans when Victor hits that sweet spot, "Not really. But, I would have liked it if I had you all to myself." 

And their conversation ended there, with Victor pumping into him and making Alex come screaming into his sheets. After that night, he starts slipping off his ring when he’s meeting Alex. 

Alex nudges him out of his thoughts, "Hey, I’m hungry. Let’s go out to eat." 

Victor looks at the watch on the wall near the entrance of the bedroom and sees that it’s already past 9. He’s thinking of catching a quick snack before going home anyway, so why not eat with company?

***  
"No way!" Phichit’s voice echoes around the restaurant, making heads turn their way. 

"Shhhh! Keep it down, Phichit!" Yuuri panics and tries to shush his best friend, but sinking in his seat. He sees Phichit’s worried expression and tries to reassure his friend, "It’s crazy now. I’ve been trying to talk to Victor, but it’s like...he’s pushing me away." 

Phichit reaches out a hand over to Yuuri’s, squeezing his friend’s trembling hand as an offer of support. "Don’t think that it’s your fault, Yuuri. Remember that time in Detroit when you just try to ignore everyone around you?" 

Yuuri nods. He dubs those as the ‘Dark days’ because it’s when he was having frequent panic attacks. The only person he talked to constantly back then was his sister, Mari. 

"Maybe, just maybe, Victor’s in the same situation as you back then," says Phichit. 

Yuuri furrows his brows, "But, why? I mean, he’s been winning at every competition ever since he stepped into the rink." 

Phichit continues, "It’s different, I don’t know, maybe because it’s Victor, and everyone has high expectations when it comes to him...so he might be feeling too pressured." 

The Thai skater smiles, "He’ll come around. Don’t worry too much about it." 

Yuuri returns Phichit’s smile, his hand scratching the back of his neck, "Thank you, Phichit. You coming here and telling me all this is really a big help." 

They continue their dinner and talk about the upcoming competition to ease the mood. Phichit’s excited because he can qualify if he wins bronze or higher in the competition. It’s going to be a tough one - Otabek Altin is going to be competing, as well. Nonetheless, Yuuri knows that Phichit can win this, and they’ll both be competing in the finals. 

"Ahhhhh. I’m the one who should be nervous! Ever since Victor came back, it’s become harder to place!" Phichit whines, as they make their way out of the restaurant and to the cold streets. 

Yuuri laughs and reassures his friend, his eyes glancing back to the street ahead. 

They are at an intersection, waiting for the light to go green so they can cross, when a flash of silver caught Yuuri’s eyes. 

On the other side of the street, laughing his carefree laugh, is Victor Nikiforov. 

"Hey! There’s your boyfriend!" Phichit points at Victor, "But, who is…" 

Something inside Yuuri twists. 

***

The cold night air bites into Victor’s skin, making his cheeks and ears red. He and Alex left the latter’s apartment to grab a quick meal from a nearby cafe. 

"So, I guess I won’t be seeing you for a couple of days, huh?" says Alex in between bites of his sandwich. 

Victor takes a sip from his espresso and gives Alex a smile, "Yeah. I"ll be in Beijing for the competition." 

"Ahh. Well, good luck! I’ll probably see you in TV or something," he teased Victor. "I never really watched figure skating, but I know you’re going to be awesome out there."  
Victor simply gives him a tight smile, "Well, we’ll see. It might not be perfect, given how I’ve not been too focused on practice." 

Alex puts down his sandwich and rests his hand over Victor’s, "It doesn’t have to be perfect. You’re beautiful, perfect performance or not." 

Victor holds his hand, "Thank you." 

After they eat, Alex insists on walking Victor back to his apartment block. They chat as they stroll, with Alex telling him a ridiculous encounter he had the other day. 

"Can you believe that? I’ve never been so insulted in my whole life!" Alex says, exasperatedly. 

Victor laughs, "But, shouldn’t that be a compliment? I mean, being called a DILF can mean you’re good looking enough to fuck." 

"Except that I’m not a dad! Do I look old???" Alex huffs and places his hands on his hips, as they stop and wait for the light to turn green so they can cross. 

"Well, you certainly -- ," Victor’s voice got caught up in his throat when he sees Yuuri on the other side of the road, looking straight at him. 

Alex follows Victor’s eyes and sees Yuuri and Phichit on the other side of the road, "You know them?" 

Victor nods, "Yeah. The one with the glasses.." With the way Victor’s looking at Yuuri, Alex understands. 

"Is your boyfriend. Now this is awkward," laughs Alex. 

The light turns green and he sees Yuuri and Phichit walk towards them, with Yuuri’s eyes focused on the ground and avoiding Victor’s stare. 

"Hi, Victor!" Phichit greets. Yuuri is quiet beside him. 

"Hello, Phichit. I’m surprised to see you here in St. Petersburg," Victor says, glancing over at Yuuri who still keeps his head bowed. "What brings you here?" 

Phichit answers with too much enthusiasm despite the tension, "Well, I wanted to surprise you guys here! It’s just a short visit, though. I’ll be going to Beijing the day after next." 

Victor hums, "Oh. You should have called me if you’re going out to eat with Yuuri." 

"I was trying to call you. Your phone was off," Yuuri murmurs and finally looks at Victor. "Where were you?" His eyes slide over to Alex. 

"Just met with a friend," Victor answers coolly. 

"That friend would be me. I’m Alexei," Alex speaks and extends his hand, his eyes sparkling with interest as he shakes hands with Yuuri and Phichit. 

The air is thick with tension, Victor is sure he wouldn’t be able to slice it with his skates even if he tried. Nobody spoke for a minute, even Phichit who’s always beaming and oozing with happiness doesn’t want to be in the direct line of fire between Yuuri and Victor. 

"I should head back home," Alex breaks the silence and pats Victor on the back. "Keep in touch." 

The trio watch Alex walk away. Soon after, Phichit bids them goodbye and promises to visit them both at the rink, leaving Yuuri and Victor in awkward silence. 

"Let’s go home, love," Victor says and takes Yuuri’s hand. 

"He’s really just a friend?" Yuuri follows Victor, looking down as they walk. 

"Yes." 

"But,....nevermind," Yuuri says. He stays silent during the entire walk home. 

When they got home, Victor walks straight into the bedroom and didn’t see the tears that fell from Yuuri’s eyes. 

Because Victor didn’t notice one thing was missing: his ring.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the Cup of China. Will Victor push through with his program flawlessly?

Victor takes in the cheers of the crowd, their thunderous applause echoing throughout the stadium, his name leaving their lips. He smiles and waves from the rink side, dazzling the audience with his confidence.  

He is the last to skate for the short program, Otabek Altin having just finished his routine and awing everyone with a score of 90.05. His jumps were flawless as ever, his routine rivaling Victor’s in terms of difficulty. Victor glances at the kiss and cry, and sees the Kazakhstan skater still as stoic as ever, but with a slight smile as he stands up and goes to the side to greet Yuri Plisetsky. 

He narrows his eyes at the pair. Victor isn’t blind to the raw talent that Yuri and Otabek possess. He admits to himself that they’re his biggest contenders - apart from his Yuuri - and with the friction between him and Yuri, the competition adds another fuel of desire in Victor to prove that he’s still in the game, that he is still the best. 

Yakov gives him a few words of advice as he waits for his cue to circle the ice, while Yuuri stands quietly at the side. Victor looks at his boyfriend, waiting for his words of encouragement, but the Japanese skater just looks at the ground. He notices how Yuuri has been quiet for the past few days, and thinks back to the encounter that happened with Alex. 

What was supposed to be a one night stand has turned into an affair. Victor finally admits it to himself - that him fooling around with Alex is going into that direction. He also feels stupid for forgetting his ring at Alex’s apartment. He had to run back to his place the next day right after practice before Yuuri can notice that his ring was missing. He needs to be more careful next time. 

Yuuri might not forgive him for what he did, for what he’s doing, but he  _ needs  _ the distraction. He needs the escape, and being with Alex gives him that sense of relief outside the skating world. Victor knows that he’s being unfair, but Yuuri will understand.  _ I’ll tell him once the Grand Prix series is over.  _ He keeps saying to himself as if willing his mind of this truth, just to ease himself of the guilt. 

“The next on the ice is Victor Nikiforov!” the announcer calls out his name, and Victor steels himself, focusing on nothing but the ice. 

“Do your best, Vitya,” Yakov takes his skate guards and pats him on the back. 

Victor turns to Yuuri and extends a hand to the other skater, “No good luck from you, my love?”  

Yuuri looks up, surprised at being addressed. For a moment, Victor thought he saw pain flash in the other man’s eyes, but they were quickly masked by Yuuri’s quick greeting of good luck, his hands reaching out to grasp Victor’s. 

"I’ll make you proud," Victor says, as Yuuri simply gives him a small nod and a tight smile. He lets go of Yuuri’s hand and turns away from the rink side. 

Victor circles the rink, waving to the crowd and flashing his smile. He takes his position in the center of the rink and waits for the music to start. His theme this year is all about "Finding your inner strength", and Victor thinks how it fits right now with his current situation. 

_ "Inner strength?" Yuuri asks, his back facing Victor as they cuddle after a round of lovemaking. _

_ He hums, "Yes. That’s the theme I want for this season." _

_ "Why?"  _

_ "Because, just like my Yuuri, I want to find my inner strength."  _

The music starts, bringing Victor back to the present, and he remembers where he is. He lets himself be immersed with the melody, gliding over the ice flawlessly and in time with the rhythm. He does a camel spin as the tempo of the music changes, and he alludes this to how people’s expectations slowly start to change as he builds his career once again. 

Victor thinks back to everyone’s reception when he decided to return to skating competitively. People were surprised and thought that his decision to be Yuuri’s coach was nothing but a publicity stunt given how Yuri Plisetsky debuted the same year, and how the critics have been saying that his programs are becoming mundane and repetitive. Victor wasn’t really one to listen to such petty gossips, but he hated every bit of it - as if his love for skating was nothing, as if Victor Nikiforov himself was nothing.  And while they were petty gossips, he hated himself for letting them get into his head. 

Pouring his feelings into his skate, Victor prepares himself for his jumps; he’s planning to do three quads for this program. He does the first set of combination jump, starting with a quad flip. 

His next jumps are flawless, despite the lack of practice for the past few days before the competition when he was in Russia. He does his step sequence, creating a story of confusion and sadness that he projects to the audience. 

Victor does a final spin, slowing down as the music starts to fade. And on his final pose, he’s met with the loud applause of the audience. 

***

Yuuri claps along with the audience, still feeling awed with Victor’s performance. Nonetheless, there’s a tinge of hurt bubbling in his chest. 

He looks to Victor’s hand and sees the golden band on his right ring finger as he waves to the crowd. 

Yuuri’s mind drifts back to the encounter he had with Victor and his friend -  _ Alex, right? -  _ a few nights ago, and thinks about how Victor was missing his ring. He wanted to ask Victor about it - it was the ring he gave to Victor, after all - but he decided that he didn't want to accuse Victor of anything.  _ I don’t want to cause any more strains in this relationship.   _

Still, the question of what Victor is doing when he’s not looking is enough to break him inside. Yuuri knows he shouldn’t even be thinking about such things. He should trust Victor, shouldn’t he? 

If Yuuri was in his younger years, he would not have any doubts when it comes to Victor. His idol, no, the love of his life, is his source of strength; he wouldn’t even be here if not for Victor, who swept him off his feet when he appeared at their hot spring and offered to be his coach. 

He loves Victor, didn’t he? And that love comes with trust. But, why does he feel that the trust in their relationship is one-sided?

Yuuri shakes these thoughts out of his mind, as he walks to the kiss and cry with Victor’s skate guards. The crowd’s cheers echo in the background, a testament to Victor’s perfect performance. 

When Yuuri meets Victor at the kiss and cry, the other man pulls him into a hug. He pats the Russian’s skater on the back, "That was a great performance, Victor. Everyone loved it." 

"I’m glad. I want Yuuri to always see the best of me," Victor says as he strokes Yuuri’s cheeks - not minding that they’re on camera and everyone can see. 

Yuuri swallows the lump forming in his throat, "You don’t have to be always the best."

He feels the sting of tears on his eyes.  _ God, why does he have to be such a crybaby?  _

"I don’t need you to be the best...I just..want you to be by my side always." 

Victor pulls away, surprised at Yuuri’s words and tears. "What’s wrong, Yuuri?" His question as left unanswered when his score was announced. 

"The score for Victor Nikiforov is 109.55" came the announcement, and Victor tears his eyes away from Yuuri, a huge smile on his face at the realization that he’s come first for the short program. 

Victor stands up and makes a graceful bow that earned him more cheers from his fan. Yuuri feels genuinely happy for Victor, and for now, he’s going to set aside his unsettling thoughts and focus on Victor’s happiness. 

***

Dinner was a lively yet awkward affair, despite the early calltime they have in the morning. Phichit came knocking to their hotel room two hours after the end of the short program and pulling Victor and Yuuri for a light dinner. 

Being the friendly guy that he is, the Thai skater sent a message to Otabek and Yuri, as well, inviting them to eat with him, Victor and Yuuri. Otabek showed up with Yuri in tow, though the younger skater looked like he didn’t want to be anywhere near Victor. 

They were halfway through dessert when his phone vibrated, and Victor had to excuse himself to read the message. 

It was from Alex. 

_**Alex** : I saw your skate. It was beautiful. You have the highest score! _

Victor chuckled and immediately typed a reply. 

_**Victor** : There’s still the program for tomorrow. Don’t miss it! _

After sending his message, Victor turns his attention back to the conversation at the table. Phichit is currently suggesting places they can visit the day after tomorrow to unwind and relieve themselves from the stress of the competition. 

"Of course, we can’t leave out the food trip! I want more xiao long bao! What was the name of the restaurant we ate in before, Yuuri?" 

"I don’t remember. Maybe you should contact Guang Hong? Ask him to accompany us?"

"Great idea! I’ll send him a message later!" 

Victor’s phone vibrates again. He take it out of his pocket to read the message, making his eyes go wide. 

"Victor?"

He quickly turns to the voice calling him and sees Yuuri’s perplexed expression. "What is it, love?"

"I asked you if you want to join the sightseeing the day after tomorrow?"

It takes a while before Yuuri’s words registered in his mind and he answered, " We’ll see. If I won’t be too tired after the competition."

Yuuri deflates from his response, "Oh. Okay. I suppose you’re right." His boyfriend scratches the back of his neck, seemingly embarrassed. 

"I’ll make it up to you, Yuuri," Victor takes the other man’s hand and kisses it, while his other hand carefully slipping the phone back in his pocket with Alex’s message igniting something in him. 

_**Alex** : How could I miss it? I already have a ticket for tomorrow. ;) _

***

Victor is sitting on a bench at a park just a few blocks from their hotel, restlessly bouncing his right leg as he waits. He looks around and notices there’s nobody else in the area despite it not being so late into the night, but he pulls his hood over his head just to make sure anyone passing by won’t recognize him. He sighs.  _ What am I doing? _

After dinner, he changed into another pair of loose sweatpants and a simple white shirt and hoodie instead of jumping into the shower like what he usually does after a competition. His boyfriend, sitting on the bed and looking at him with confusion, asked him why he’s changed into his workout clothes. 

The lie came out naturally, and he thought,  _ When did I start lying to Yuuri? _

"I’m going out for a quick run. Just to burn all the food we just ate," he says. 

After finding out Alex was in China, meeting him sparked something in Victor.  _ Excitement? Inspiration? Confusion?  _ No matter what it was, he just had to meet with him, so he sent him a message and told him a location where the two of them can meet. 

That was about half an hour ago, and Victor knows he needs to make this quick if he doesn’t want to rouse Yuuri’s suspiciot. Just when he was about to send another message to Alex, he sees a figure jogging towards where he sits and the silhouette soon became clear.

Under the light of the lamp post, Alex’s handsome grin sparkles tenfold, and Victor is floored. 

"Hey!" Alex greets him and takes a seat next to him. Small beads of sweat dots his forehead, no doubt from having to run to the park. 

"Why are you here?" Is the first thing that comes out from his mouth, because, really, why did this man who barely knew him fly all the way just to watch him skate. 

Alex raises his brow, "Oh? I thought I just wanted to see how you skate. Like in real life." He pauses and smiles to himself as he looks ahead. "And it was worth it."

Victor just stares back, unsure of how to respond. How is he to answer that at all? 

With Victor’s lack of response, Alex straightens up and scratches the back of his.neck. "But, I guess you didn’t want me here...with your boyfriend being with you and all..." 

Victor shake his head, smiles and takes Alex’s hand, "No, no. Thank you for coming here to support me." 

Alex lets out a long exhale as if relieved from Victor’s words. He places his other hand under Victor’s chin and pulls his face closer to his. 

The kiss started out as chaste, but soon became heated. Alex’s tongue swipes across his lips, asking for permission, and Victor gladly accepted. His hand traveled to Alex’s dark, curly locks, while their tongue battled for dominance. 

Alex pulls him closer, his hands undoing the zipper of his hoodie and tipping back the cover to pull at his shirt and leave a trail of kisses on the exposed skin of his neck. Victor tips back his head, savoring all the kisses and bites and little nips he’s receiving from Alex. 

Victor’s brain is in a haze, making him oblivious to another figure approaching, and he soon realizes where he is, what he’s doing, and who he’s with, but realizes it too late when the figure speaks up with a loud voice. 

"What the hell is going on here??!!" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the late update. It's been hectic for me, with work and everything going on in my life. So, who do you think found them? :)


End file.
